"The first squirrel keg stand"
Source:Damaske, Jim / St. Petersburg Times via Zuma PressHave a great weekend!
Friday, April 24, 2009
Friday Fun, Caption It!
Happy Friday, Folks! I'm feeling a little flu-ish on the gorgeous Friday, but not much I can do about that. Thought it'd be fun to come up with a caption for this guy. As silly as this picture is, I really appreciate his perseverance! So come up with a fun caption!
Source:Damaske, Jim / St. Petersburg Times via Zuma Press
Have a great weekend!
Source:Damaske, Jim / St. Petersburg Times via Zuma PressHave a great weekend!
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
End of a Chapter?
I feel lighter and giddier today than I have in awhile, except for the fact that I had to get up at 6am to get to the doctor's office, but I digress.
After the longest frozen embryo transfer cycle in history, I finally know that we will do the transfer on April 30th. We have five strong blastocyst snow babies to work with, so I feel...umm...mediocre about the whole thing. Plain and simple, I'm not so sure that getting pregnant is in the cards for me anymore. You don't go through 4 negative IVF cycles, and losing a pregnancy and not feel a little cynical. Though, I don't really view it as cynical anymore...it's more of a reality now. And that reality is what helps me get through the day. If I was feeling down on the world, and sad, I would be miserable to be around. But knowing that my reality might include adopted children is what I've been coming to terms with and something that I now truly accept. It is what it is.
A week or so ago I finished a fabulous booked called The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. The book is written from the dog's point of view, about his owner that is going through some hardships in his life. It is a GREAT book, an easy read, and if you are a dog lover, I recommend it even more. I couldn't read it fast enough and got through it in 2 days. The dog feels he is one notch away from being a human and has a very philosophical view on life. He has a mantra, "that which you manifest is before you." The dog, Enzo, loves this saying and repeats it often. I was interested in seeing what the author had to say about writing this book, and he brought up that quote. Here is an excerpt of what Mr. Stein had to say about the quote:
First, Enzo's mantra: "That which you manifest is before you." I think it's very important to take
charge of your life, not to feel like you're a victim of circumstance or fate, but that you are an active participant in your future. It's not a new idea: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." (Lennon/McCartney) Where I focus my energy always matches what comes back to me in my life.
I loved this idea especially as someone who has been through infertility and often feels like the victim, or like God is out to get me. But that's not true...I'm an equal participant here too. But as I look to next week, I can't help but being a little excited about our future family. And if this chapter closes for us, the story is not even close to being over.
After the longest frozen embryo transfer cycle in history, I finally know that we will do the transfer on April 30th. We have five strong blastocyst snow babies to work with, so I feel...umm...mediocre about the whole thing. Plain and simple, I'm not so sure that getting pregnant is in the cards for me anymore. You don't go through 4 negative IVF cycles, and losing a pregnancy and not feel a little cynical. Though, I don't really view it as cynical anymore...it's more of a reality now. And that reality is what helps me get through the day. If I was feeling down on the world, and sad, I would be miserable to be around. But knowing that my reality might include adopted children is what I've been coming to terms with and something that I now truly accept. It is what it is.
A week or so ago I finished a fabulous booked called The Art of Racing in the Rain by Garth Stein. The book is written from the dog's point of view, about his owner that is going through some hardships in his life. It is a GREAT book, an easy read, and if you are a dog lover, I recommend it even more. I couldn't read it fast enough and got through it in 2 days. The dog feels he is one notch away from being a human and has a very philosophical view on life. He has a mantra, "that which you manifest is before you." The dog, Enzo, loves this saying and repeats it often. I was interested in seeing what the author had to say about writing this book, and he brought up that quote. Here is an excerpt of what Mr. Stein had to say about the quote:
First, Enzo's mantra: "That which you manifest is before you." I think it's very important to take
charge of your life, not to feel like you're a victim of circumstance or fate, but that you are an active participant in your future. It's not a new idea: "And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make." (Lennon/McCartney) Where I focus my energy always matches what comes back to me in my life.
I loved this idea especially as someone who has been through infertility and often feels like the victim, or like God is out to get me. But that's not true...I'm an equal participant here too. But as I look to next week, I can't help but being a little excited about our future family. And if this chapter closes for us, the story is not even close to being over.
Friday, April 17, 2009
Friday Fun
I think this is the secret to life...not only realizing that men operate completely different from women, but accepting it 100%. But really, not only are women way more complicated, but is it really that easy to just flip the "off" switch for men? Very interesting...Also, for Friday Fun, one of my favorite authors is releasing a book in May. It's about her growing up in the 80s, so to prepare she has been having people send in photos from 80s dances, etc. It is HILARIOUS. If you need a chuckle today, head over here. Yesterday's post (the wedding photo especially) had tears streaming down my face. Plus, she's from Chicago so I might biased.
Have a great weekend!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Fat & Tired
This weekend what a whirlwind of excitement! It was non-stop filled with fun, eating and drinking and spending time with family.
Friday, I had gotten some tickets to go to Oprah! Having lived in Chicago for the past 10 years, I thought it was time that I finally went. I had never been, even having friends who have worked there. My sister and mom picked me up, and we headed to breakfast. After eating enough to sustain us until at least 3pm, we headed over to the studio. We got there early, but they were letting people in, so it was fine. Plus I wanted to try to get there a little early so we try to get better seats. After we arrived, and a cavity check (kidding, but not far from the truth), they ushered us up into a room where we sat. And sat. And sat some more. After waiting for 2 hours, we finally got to enter the studio. At this point we still did not know what the show was going to be about, but upon entering, we saw lit up on the backdrop the title. We'll have to wait until it airs, but it was a pretty great show. Afterwards, the Divine Miss O sat and talked to the audience for about 30 minutes. This was probably my favorite part! She is gracious, humbled and funny, and everything you'd think of her to be like. I love her. I really think that if she met me, we'd be friends, and maybe her, me and Jennifer Aniston could all go out for a bite.
The show finally ended and we had been there for almost 5 hours so we were hungry. Since it was my mom's birthday the next day, we headed to Afternoon Tea at the Peninsula. It was just what we needed to unwind. And the champagne didn't hurt either. It was a perfect end to spending some times with my favorite ladies.
Saturday we met my family out for an Italian dinner at a nearby BYOB restaurant. Another delicious meal and great wine. We had tickets to see a band at Schuba's. Ran into an old college friend, and had a blast. The night ended all too late, and we had to be up and moving for the White Sox game on Sunday. Kevin had gotten the suite through work, and that's just not something you pass up. More eating and sipping some bloody mary's, and a great game.
I am fat and tired after my long weekend, but it beats being skinny and having too much energy because we didn't do anything. It's weekends like this you realize you are blessed with what you do have in life. And even it takes these old bones all week to recover from the debauchery it was well worth it.
Friday, I had gotten some tickets to go to Oprah! Having lived in Chicago for the past 10 years, I thought it was time that I finally went. I had never been, even having friends who have worked there. My sister and mom picked me up, and we headed to breakfast. After eating enough to sustain us until at least 3pm, we headed over to the studio. We got there early, but they were letting people in, so it was fine. Plus I wanted to try to get there a little early so we try to get better seats. After we arrived, and a cavity check (kidding, but not far from the truth), they ushered us up into a room where we sat. And sat. And sat some more. After waiting for 2 hours, we finally got to enter the studio. At this point we still did not know what the show was going to be about, but upon entering, we saw lit up on the backdrop the title. We'll have to wait until it airs, but it was a pretty great show. Afterwards, the Divine Miss O sat and talked to the audience for about 30 minutes. This was probably my favorite part! She is gracious, humbled and funny, and everything you'd think of her to be like. I love her. I really think that if she met me, we'd be friends, and maybe her, me and Jennifer Aniston could all go out for a bite.
The show finally ended and we had been there for almost 5 hours so we were hungry. Since it was my mom's birthday the next day, we headed to Afternoon Tea at the Peninsula. It was just what we needed to unwind. And the champagne didn't hurt either. It was a perfect end to spending some times with my favorite ladies.
Saturday we met my family out for an Italian dinner at a nearby BYOB restaurant. Another delicious meal and great wine. We had tickets to see a band at Schuba's. Ran into an old college friend, and had a blast. The night ended all too late, and we had to be up and moving for the White Sox game on Sunday. Kevin had gotten the suite through work, and that's just not something you pass up. More eating and sipping some bloody mary's, and a great game.
I am fat and tired after my long weekend, but it beats being skinny and having too much energy because we didn't do anything. It's weekends like this you realize you are blessed with what you do have in life. And even it takes these old bones all week to recover from the debauchery it was well worth it.
Wednesday, April 8, 2009
Head Drowning, Under Water
Yesterday after work I was so completely exhausted into a lupron stupor, I decided to skip the gym, but walked home from work. It's a great way to get my exercise in, get from point a to point b, and also have some time to myself. I came home sweaty and tired, and after some pizza went to bed early. I felt relaxed which was great since I had to get up early this morning for my bloodwork and ultrasound appointment. I had to be downtown by 6:30am. So you can imagine my surprise when I woke up at 6:28am.
Early this morning, I woke up at 4am to a snoring hubby and after slugging him a few times, the snoring was not stopping. So I tiptoed into the guest bedroom to try to get some sleep. This is not infrequent, I often go there in the middle of night. There is just something about the bed in there that puts me to sleep instantly. After an hour and a half of thinking about super important things like "Is LC really going to make up with Heidi and Spencer?" "What's going to happen to Jack Bauer...is he really going to die from this virus...certainly not, right?" "Where's Bailey and why doesn't she come in the guestroom and snuggle with me? ...what's that you say? Because all I do is poke her until making her leave me and goes and finds the sleeping room where Papa is." It really is hard to sleep with so many life altering things running through my head.
I finally start to fall asleep and know that even though I have left our room, my wonderful, responsible husband of 6 1/2 years will come and get me when the alarm goes off at 6:07am (I always set it at odd times). So I was really surprised to be awoken from a dream of Bailey trying to jump over a fence (?) at 6:28am when I had to be at the doctor's office in 2 minutes. I jumped out of bed, threw on clothes sans underwear and a bra over my Little Miss Trouble t-shirt, tied my hair in a bun and stuck a toothbrush in my mouth for all of 15 seconds. Shoes unlaced, I ran out of the house and made it to the doctor's office. The nurse was waiting up front, reading a magazine, looking none to happy. She made me sit nek-ed in the room for over 10 minutes while she talked on the phone. Payback's a bitch.
I got home from all the fun of getting needles and ultrasound wands plunged into my body and jumped right back into bed. I then told my wonderful husband of 6 1/2 years that the nurse was going to leave if I didn't show up soon, but thank goodness she didn't! His reply..."sounds like you made it there at the perfect time then." Yes, just perfect.
Early this morning, I woke up at 4am to a snoring hubby and after slugging him a few times, the snoring was not stopping. So I tiptoed into the guest bedroom to try to get some sleep. This is not infrequent, I often go there in the middle of night. There is just something about the bed in there that puts me to sleep instantly. After an hour and a half of thinking about super important things like "Is LC really going to make up with Heidi and Spencer?" "What's going to happen to Jack Bauer...is he really going to die from this virus...certainly not, right?" "Where's Bailey and why doesn't she come in the guestroom and snuggle with me? ...what's that you say? Because all I do is poke her until making her leave me and goes and finds the sleeping room where Papa is." It really is hard to sleep with so many life altering things running through my head.
I finally start to fall asleep and know that even though I have left our room, my wonderful, responsible husband of 6 1/2 years will come and get me when the alarm goes off at 6:07am (I always set it at odd times). So I was really surprised to be awoken from a dream of Bailey trying to jump over a fence (?) at 6:28am when I had to be at the doctor's office in 2 minutes. I jumped out of bed, threw on clothes sans underwear and a bra over my Little Miss Trouble t-shirt, tied my hair in a bun and stuck a toothbrush in my mouth for all of 15 seconds. Shoes unlaced, I ran out of the house and made it to the doctor's office. The nurse was waiting up front, reading a magazine, looking none to happy. She made me sit nek-ed in the room for over 10 minutes while she talked on the phone. Payback's a bitch.
I got home from all the fun of getting needles and ultrasound wands plunged into my body and jumped right back into bed. I then told my wonderful husband of 6 1/2 years that the nurse was going to leave if I didn't show up soon, but thank goodness she didn't! His reply..."sounds like you made it there at the perfect time then." Yes, just perfect.
Monday, April 6, 2009
Head Above Water
Lately, I feel as if I'm a little girl learning how to swim again. While holding onto the wall, the swim instructor telling me to put my head in the water and blow bubbles, all while kicking my legs. Eventually the instructor lets me off the wall to try to kick and blow bubbles with my arms outstretched in front of me, trying to kick to the other side of the pool. Lately, I feel like I need to just hold onto that wall and work on the blowing bubbles.
We have had a lot going on, all great great things, but sometimes when great things start happening, I have to catch my breath. We've waited and waited and waited for so many things for so long, that when things start moving in the right direction, I have forgotten how to move along with it without swallowing some water (or getting it up my nose, which really does burn).
I officially sent in our application to the adoption agency. They called and said we have been officially accepted and we have a case worker now assigned to us. I'm so used to IVF doctors and nurses and sometimes cranky receptionists, I now will have to learn how a case worker operates. We should be getting a huge box in the mail any day now, and apparently it's filled with goodies! Like paperwork to get fingerprints, criminal and financial background checks, medical forms (no honey, you still won't have to have that checked out yet), and immigration forms. So it's exhilarating and frightening all at the same time. Just how it should be I suspect.
While I've been dealing with that, I also have been on lupron for the past 2 weeks for our frozen cycle. I go in this week for some bloodwork and ultrasound and should find out when the transfer will be. I'm thinking in the next couple of weeks. Before we can really move forward with adoption, I believe we need to "be done" with trying for a baby on our own, at least at the very present time we are adopting. In the home study they will ask about our fertility issues and we can't presently be trying to have a baby on our own if we are going to be traveling 1/2 way around the world to adopt a baby. So we do have some time to get the paper work, but knowing me, I will want it done as soon as possible.
All while those little issues (you know, adoption and doing a frozen embryo transfer, such little inconsequential things in life) have been going on, we have another possible thing on the horizon that I can not comment too much about yet. But it's exciting as well, but takes us out of our comfort zone yet again.
So with that, and a jam packed calendar for the next couple of months, I need to find a minute to blow out the bubbles. Perhaps I just need to kick a little harder, but there's no question, I can not hold onto the wall forever. 2009 won't let me, and that's fine by me. Some of the best things in life come when we are thrown in the deep end.
We have had a lot going on, all great great things, but sometimes when great things start happening, I have to catch my breath. We've waited and waited and waited for so many things for so long, that when things start moving in the right direction, I have forgotten how to move along with it without swallowing some water (or getting it up my nose, which really does burn).
I officially sent in our application to the adoption agency. They called and said we have been officially accepted and we have a case worker now assigned to us. I'm so used to IVF doctors and nurses and sometimes cranky receptionists, I now will have to learn how a case worker operates. We should be getting a huge box in the mail any day now, and apparently it's filled with goodies! Like paperwork to get fingerprints, criminal and financial background checks, medical forms (no honey, you still won't have to have that checked out yet), and immigration forms. So it's exhilarating and frightening all at the same time. Just how it should be I suspect.
While I've been dealing with that, I also have been on lupron for the past 2 weeks for our frozen cycle. I go in this week for some bloodwork and ultrasound and should find out when the transfer will be. I'm thinking in the next couple of weeks. Before we can really move forward with adoption, I believe we need to "be done" with trying for a baby on our own, at least at the very present time we are adopting. In the home study they will ask about our fertility issues and we can't presently be trying to have a baby on our own if we are going to be traveling 1/2 way around the world to adopt a baby. So we do have some time to get the paper work, but knowing me, I will want it done as soon as possible.
All while those little issues (you know, adoption and doing a frozen embryo transfer, such little inconsequential things in life) have been going on, we have another possible thing on the horizon that I can not comment too much about yet. But it's exciting as well, but takes us out of our comfort zone yet again.
So with that, and a jam packed calendar for the next couple of months, I need to find a minute to blow out the bubbles. Perhaps I just need to kick a little harder, but there's no question, I can not hold onto the wall forever. 2009 won't let me, and that's fine by me. Some of the best things in life come when we are thrown in the deep end.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Friday Fun
Happy Friday, peeps :) I was going to have a game of "Where's Joelle?" (similar to Where's Waldo?) since I haven't been around these parts much lately but decided against that.
There has been so much going on lately, that I feel like my head is going to explode! And a lot of it isn't even "my" stuff, but my husband's or my girl friend's. But you know you get to the point where your brain is on overload? What do you do? I sleep, and I love it.
I've been doped up on Lupron for a good week and 1/2 now. It makes me feel like Will Ferrell in Old School after he gets shot in the neck with the horse tranquilizer. I feel like a big grizzly bear trying to hibernate, but things (work, the dog, my husband) keep getting in the way of my want to sleep for 26 straight hours. I've been using caffeine to help me through these difficult times. I don't even want to hear it. I tried people, but last weekend, I saw the whipped cream sitting in my fridge and thought how delicious it would be on some homemade coffee. So I unpacked our coffee pot, set it up and threw the box away so I could never pack up my good friend again. I have been having mostly decaf, or at least half and half.
Hopefully this weekend will be a restful one! I leave you with a photo of my favorite tshirt. I have a thing for graphic tshirts that I wear to bed, or mostly in the summer. I have a bunch, and love them all equally (perhaps I will show you them all sometime, fun, huh?). My first one, that started this obsession, is a tshirt my husband got when he was in 6th grade that had everyone's names on it from his class. It's mustard yellow, but super soft, and I love it. The one below I got in a candy store in NYC (if you are in NYC this place must be checked out). Since Easter is around the corner, I thought it was appropriate. Have a good weekend, peeps.
There has been so much going on lately, that I feel like my head is going to explode! And a lot of it isn't even "my" stuff, but my husband's or my girl friend's. But you know you get to the point where your brain is on overload? What do you do? I sleep, and I love it.
I've been doped up on Lupron for a good week and 1/2 now. It makes me feel like Will Ferrell in Old School after he gets shot in the neck with the horse tranquilizer. I feel like a big grizzly bear trying to hibernate, but things (work, the dog, my husband) keep getting in the way of my want to sleep for 26 straight hours. I've been using caffeine to help me through these difficult times. I don't even want to hear it. I tried people, but last weekend, I saw the whipped cream sitting in my fridge and thought how delicious it would be on some homemade coffee. So I unpacked our coffee pot, set it up and threw the box away so I could never pack up my good friend again. I have been having mostly decaf, or at least half and half.
Hopefully this weekend will be a restful one! I leave you with a photo of my favorite tshirt. I have a thing for graphic tshirts that I wear to bed, or mostly in the summer. I have a bunch, and love them all equally (perhaps I will show you them all sometime, fun, huh?). My first one, that started this obsession, is a tshirt my husband got when he was in 6th grade that had everyone's names on it from his class. It's mustard yellow, but super soft, and I love it. The one below I got in a candy store in NYC (if you are in NYC this place must be checked out). Since Easter is around the corner, I thought it was appropriate. Have a good weekend, peeps.
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