What They Don't Tell You

There are so many surprises with this whole "parenting" thing.  I was at my in-laws last night because my mother-in-law watched the babies while I got my hair did and nails painted.  We are heading to Chicago this weekend for a shower/party and I want people to think I'm not hanging on by a thread.  So, at dinner my father-in-law asked me what was most surprising about the babies that I hadn't expected.  I blurted out that the lack of sleep has been the most life transforming.  I knew I'd be tired, I knew life would change, but this rock bottom tired...has been so unexpected.  And I got to thinking, why are some things such a secret in motherhood?  So, without further ado, the 5 things I've learned that nobody tells you.

1.  I can be in another room, and hear a baby cry, and go to check, and both are sound asleep.  No baby cried, or even fussed.  I'm always hearing fake cries, at night, during the day.  It's very strange.

2.  When I do sleep now my dreaming is surreal.  It's gone from horrific, to scary, to gross, it pretty much runs the whole gamut.  I have not really dreamt about the babies yet, but I do wake up in the middle of the night and think there's a baby in the bed (we do not and have never co-slept, so not sure where this comes from).  I have gone as far as to check in the covers for a baby.  K has even caught me doing this.  Now, he has started to have those same dreams.

3.  The lack of sleep.  People tell you, "get your sleep now, because you won't sleep for 18 years!" I always wanted to smack those people.  Or "your life will never be the same."  No kidding?  When you've tried for a baby for over 4 years, I DIDN'T want my life to be the same, that's the point!  But the roughness of not getting enough sleep.  It's been brutal.  And I have pretty good sleepers, for the most part they only get up to eat once a night, but when you are spending your sleeping hours looking for babies in the bed, having weird hallucinating dreams and thinking you are hearing a baby cry out...well sleep is just not the same. 

4.  The amount of stuff you accumulate with babies.  And with 2!  So I've been spring cleaning to get rid of old stuff, and in honor of one of my favorite blogs (who did something similar before they moved) I am getting rid of 100 items.  Books, clothes.  I am not a pack rat, but it's time to get rid of the stuff that is just taking up extra room.  In that same breath, the quickness of how quickly the girls grow out of things.  Every day I'm adding the pile of things that no longer fit.  When they moved on from newborn diapers to size one, I had a mini-breakdown.  Well, not really, but you just think they will never grow, and when they do, it's pretty amazing.  Not only are we keeping them alive and thriving, but they are actually growing!!  Funny how that works. 

5.  Here's a secret.  Before we left for Utah I was scared.  I was scared of twins, scared if I would love them, scared of the unknown.  But these little ladies?  I feel like I birthed them.  I hold them late at night and they just feel like they have always been here.  That they have always been ours.  And maybe in a sense, they have.  I couldn't love them more.  They are starting to smile now, and I know only more fun times are to come.  We are starting to see little personalities come out, Reese is more fiesty, Kendall more laid back...so it will be fun to see how these personalities develop in the coming years!