Yet Unscathed

Tennis has always been somewhat of an anomaly to me. I've never watched tennis, never really cared one way or the other who won. But my sister and her husband were in town over Labor Day weekend and they have been getting more into tennis, so we went to one of the matches at the US Open while they were here. Before I went to the match, I had a little learning to do...like how to keep score. I've played many sports in my life: volleyball, basketball, soccer, Irish football, running, ping pong (not competitively, the ol' basement variety) but never tennis. So Kevin taught me how to keep score before we went. He's probably tried to teach me a few dozens times, but I tend to tune things out until I really want to learn something. It's definitely not one of my finer qualities, but one that isn't changing anytime soon. It turns out I just needed to understand what the heck was going on and now I'm a pretty big fan!

New on the tennis scene is a 17 year old girl from Georgia named Melanie. She was exciting to watch because this is it for her...she is officially "made" into a tennis star. She beat some of the powerhouses in tennis, and she did it because she's been working her tail off. But she also beat them because she doesn't believe it won't happen. Plain and simple, she knows she "can" beat them, so why not? She hasn't yet come to doubt herself, or her body, or the world we live in. The concept is so simple, but something that gets jaded as we get older.

I saw this again last week when I was presenting a candidate for job in New York. I was lining him up for interviews, and after the first round, he kept saying, "when are they going to make an offer?" I kind of chuckled like..."oh lad, it doesn't always work that way! You have to interview, they have to like you, there are many channels and mysteries to figure this out. Don't get your hopes up." I almost told him all this, but on second thought, I decided not to. This young man is only 1 year out of college, still young enough to believe that he will get whatever he wants in life. Still young enough to probably not have many doubts. And you know what? He got an offer from the company on Friday and accepted it.

I was struck by how easy it used to be. I remember when I was growing up I used to procrastinate, or do things in an unconventional way. It would drive my dad crazy that everything just worked out for me! And most of it worked out because I believed it would...why wouldn't it? I remember I had a project due for school and waited until the night before to even go pick up my supplies to get started, and it was not something you'd just go pick up at an art store. My dad didn't say a word to me how annoyed he was that I had waited so late. But I went out, went to 1 store, got my supplies, came home and did the project and got an A on it.

What a feeling that was...and how I wish to go back to that point in my life. But unfortunately, I don't think you can ever really go back once you've crossed the line.

But this weekend, I dug deep down and tried to find that will, that "it will all work out" attitude. I was running a 10 mile race I had trained for the past 2 months, after a 3 year baby/IVF hiatus. I was a little nervous and doubted myself, but what was the worst that could happen? I would have to walk a bit? But I did it. I didn't set any time trial records, but I did set my own personal record. I've never run a 10 mile race. It felt good to leave the realist with a little cynicism mixed in behind and find my optimism again. It feels GOOD to be on this side, a side I plan on seeing more of in the future.