This IVF cycle is kicking my butt. It's leaving me battered and bruised and tired and cranky. I am so tired I can barely function, and have so little energy that washing a dish has moved it's way on to my "big accomplishment" list right now. I am a pathetic excuse for a wife, doggy mama, worker. But I will keep going. This is the longest I have ever been on stims and I just hope it all works out in the end. And if it does, at least I will be prepared for how tired some pregnant women claim to be.*
I had the day off yesterday and went to see my aunt in the hospital. She had knee replacement surgery about a week ago, and before she was getting released, the doctor noticed some blood clots on her lungs. It was good to see her, and I realized as I was chatting with my mom and my aunt in the tiny hospital room, that my aunt and I don't often just sit down and converse. She was actually cracking me up the whole time, so it was good to see her in great spirits. She will be fine by the way and should get released today or tomorrow.
My aunt also adopted my cousin nearly 40 years ago. She had numerous miscarriages and finally went to Catholic Charities. Soon after, she brought home a beautiful baby girl. After a couple of months of having my new cousin home, she got pregnant and it stuck. Then she got pregnant again, so she had 3 kids total. They were always the cousins that were closest to us. We talked a lot about adoption yesterday. The ins and outs. How open adoptions are so common now. It was kind of strange talking to her about something we've never really talked about. Sure, growing up we always new my cousin was adopted, but I had never heard the story from my aunt.
It was nice to chat with the ladies in my family. I like where we are at right now with starting our family. I like that I don't have to keep secrets about IVF or the fact that we're trying to get pregnant. I like that people know adoption is a possibility and the response is overwhelming. I think our friends and family want to turn us into Brad and Angelina and have us adopt from around the world. But it's all positive, and right now, it helps, and it's all I can ask for. I would also like to ask for the quarter size bruises on my arms from where they draw blood to go away, but I won't push my luck.
*I was never overly tired when I was pregnant, and I never really understood when pregnant women claimed to be so tired they had to sleep at work. I think this IVF cycle is karma having some fun with me.
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Isn't that a great feeling that you can be so open and honest with your family? It's refreshing. I don't share every single detail with our families, but they know that we're IF and usually attempt to talk with us out of love & concern rather than pressure.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry that this cycle is kicking your butt so bad. Maybe that's a sign of good things to come??? When's the retrieval?
Love you!
I think you deserve to have some major relax and resting time during this IVF cycle, so don't worry about being tired! (and really you weren't tired!!! I can barely function I am such a lazy, hormone driven, sleep head! haha) I am hoping all this fatigue is a good sign that this cycle is super working its butt off to create a beatiful baby for you!
ReplyDeleteso awesome you got to talk to your mom and aunt. It is so wonderful when family supports and understands what you are going through.
Like Jen and Alicia, I'm glad you were able to talk w/ your aunt...having been there herself, I'm sure her words are more encouraging than others.
ReplyDeletePrayers for this IVF cycle!!!! My everythings are crossed for y'all!