A Hot Mess

After my sad sad sad weekend, things started to turn around for me this week. My hormones came down to a human level, after feeling like I could move a car with the amount of progesterone I inject into my body. I made some phone calls and made a few appointments for our baby journey in January. I weighed myself yesterday and was stunned at the number. I am only about 4 lbs away from my pre-IVF/pregnancy weight. Granted, my body needs some major work, but at least I'm going in the right direction. I also made it to the gym yesterday. Let's not forget Kevin is coming home on Monday, I have my company holiday dinner tonight at my favorite restaurant in the city, and I am seeing my oldest friends on Saturday at a "party" at my house. I've been friends with these girls since the 4th grade, so it's always good to see them. Thought I'm the only with without kids (they all now have at least 2), I always look forward to seeing them.

Yet, even though things are looking better I've been extremely scatter brained this week, which is unlike me. On Tuesday, I showed up for my dentist appointment at 3pm, and checked myself in. As soon as I said my name I had a flashback of my calendar on my work desk and could "see" I had the wrong day...I was supposed to come in on Wednesday. They couldn't find me in the system, and I played dumb. They were very kind (I love my dentist's office), and took me on Tuesday anyway.

Also about 2 weeks ago, I got some weird rash on my eyelids. I thought it was just dry skin, like eczema, so have been trying my own apothecary treatment (never a great idea). Finally, yesterday it was getting worse and moving down my face so I made an appointment at my dermatologist office. They had an opening at lunch so I hopped in the cab to make my way to 310 EAST Superior. The cab left me at some strange looking building, and I knew something was not right. I wandered around looking for the office, finally called 411 to get the right address and was back in a cab in minutes going to 310 WEST Superior. Arriving 20 minutes late, they thankfully let me stay as well. Not only feeling like a total moron, but I have a freakin' rash on my FACE! It's the holidays people, and I can't wear eye shadow, I had to take off all my nail polish and have some cream with steroids in it that I have to put on that makes my eyes feel like I lit them on fire. One hot mess.

Despite all this, I still feel better this week. I did not ask for this journey. I did not ask to become a spokesperson for pain, infertility or late term pregnancy loss. I did not ask to not get my only dream I have ever had since I can remember. But I have all that, and I'm dealing. I'm not sure I will leave behind this hot mess phase, as I plan on drinking my fair share of wine and champagne this holiday season. So the happy, hot mess is sure to continue, and I'm very ok with that.

Cheers!