I’m blue. I wish I was yellow, or green or pink. But I just feel blue lately. I’m in a funk, rut, or low place and I can’t seem to get out of it.
I haven’t posted much because I’m supposed to be writing about “good things.” But I feel like a fraud trying to come up with good things when I just want to stare into space, or watch tv or crawl into bed. I’m so so tired all day long, then I can’t sleep at night.
I think because in the back of my mind, I shouldn’t have been working right now. I should have been home, in the throws of new motherhood. Learning my baby’s cries and what they mean. Seeing a smile and knowing it was probably just a fart. I don’t think about this all day long, but every once in awhile it still hits me like a ton of bricks.
I’m doing some things to try to get out of it. I’m eating peanut butter. I’m driving my husband absolutely insane, because somehow having someone else just as miserable eases the pain. I’m taking Bailey for long walks. I’m trying to immerse myself into work. I got a haircut…and hilite. I bought new bedding for the guest room. I’m watching every miserable thing I can find on tv. Not by choice, I just stumble upon these things and can’t turn them off.
I will get out of it. I always do. I'm sure by this weekend I will be thinking wonderful thoughts of wonderful colors.
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It's ok to be blue, and in fact we have the right to be blue! You have been through so much hun, you can't be happy all the time! And I think its great that you are being honest and truthful with your blog, thats what mine is, whatever I am feeling goes on there. I am sure there will be days when you feel good again, and there will be days when you are blue again, but thats really ok! I know you a little now to know that you will bounce back with your positive attidude, which I envy.
ReplyDeletethinking and praying for ya!
(((hugs)))
Hey sweetheart! I just want you to know that I'm thinking of you and Alicia is right. Go ahead and feel blue. When you're ready you'll be whatever other color you want. HUGS!!!
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