Life Changing

Everyone tells you when you have a baby, it changes your life. Sleep gets thrown out the door, spontaneous outings are never heard from again, and priorities are forever shifted. We can't wait for these things to start happening to us, but when you're adopting, things start shifting a bit earlier.

This past weekend, Kevin and I went on a little trip across the country. It was an important trip, perhaps one of the most important things that we'll ever do. We got to meet the birth mother who has chosen us. We got to meet her mother. We got to meet her sisters and aunt. We met the birth father, and his brother. By Saturday night we fell exhausted, and found a bottle of wine and a piece of chocolate cake, instantly taking us back to our comfort zone. To what we know.

After I lost the baby, I bounced back fairly quickly. Everyone said how strong I was. I went back to work a week later. I started going out with friends again over a month after that, and generally speaking, I was doing ok. It got on my nerves how everyone kept telling me that, because I wasn't trying to be strong and move forward, it just happened. I didn't want to live sad. Plus, I truly believe that there is a difference in strength with what happens TO you, as opposed to what you choose to go out and make happen. My point is, losing the baby happened to us, we just needed to react and deal with the broken pieces. But going through adoption...that is something we have pursued and gone after ourselves. Which takes a 1000 times more strength, in my opinion, to go after a dream. To take yourself 110% out of your comfort zone and do something radical.

Adoption is not radical, I realize. But sitting on a couch at our BM's home with her mom, having just met less than 12 hours before, talking about the baby that is growing in her, that we will raise. Well that was a pretty surreal experience. Radical, almost, in my eyes. Every so often I would get this thought..."what are we doing?!" Not that I'm having second thoughts or anything, don't get me wrong. But unless you've gone through it, there are few words to even start to describe what we were feeling. I'm sure the BM was feeling the same way...but if she wasn't pregnant, our paths never would have crossed, and I couldn't help but feel that we were sent there for a reason. Yes, the baby, but this family chose us for a reason.

Many questions have come up about the BM, the baby, due date, sex, etc. I won't be sharing any further details about the BM. We are going to keep those details private from everyone and only share with the baby. It's the baby's information to have, and when baby is old enough, baby can do with it what he/she pleases. I will say that she is due in February, and yes, we know the sex, but we are keeping that under wraps for now too.

We are ready for the life changing exprience the baby will surely bring. We have been ready. But life changing has already started for us. We are beyond excited, and just letting ourselves bask in the joy that we will soon be parents. But we continue to pray for the BM and her family, because in a few months, she will need it more than ever, for her life is changing too.