Love is Free

We were at the Sheryl Crow concert with some friends this past Sunday (it was the weekend for concerts apparently). My girlfriend has 2 little ones, and knows everything about our struggles to have a baby. It took her 8 months to conceive her first, so she knows the pain of not being able to conceive. I call her my “new friend” because we have known each other for years (at least 15), and we have just recently become good friends.

After many, many, many bottles of wine on Sunday we thought we’d be cool and go buy some “glow” items. A glow necklace, a sparkling glow ring, a light-up glow wine glass, a cowboy hat and $50 later, we were ready to go! As we walked around, people were actually applauding us, and yelling, “good for you!” I didn’t realize we had put on such a show. Kevin saw us walking back to our seats and in his head was ripping on the “high school girls who got drunk and bought out the gift shop.” Then he realized it was us. Hey, its summer and I’m doing IVF in a few weeks, so I can have some fun. Unbeknownst to me, my “new friend” had bought us a baby onesie from the Sheryl Crow collection. The onesie has “Love is Free” scrawled across it (the name of her tour). It is one cute onesie.

Ever since we’ve started trying for a baby, I’ve had a rule that we can’t buy anything for the baby. I didn’t want a failed month to go by and see all the books or clothes for a baby lingering in the guest room anxiously waiting for an 8lb owner. Even when I was pregnant I didn’t really buy anything; it just never felt right. So when she presented us with her gift, I was surprisingly happy. She gave it to us and said, “It WILL happen, and I want to see the baby wear this when it does.” Or something to that affect, like I mentioned, there were many empty wine bottles around us.

For so long we had hid our secret of not being able to have a baby. Besides, it’s not really cocktail conversation. It makes people uncomfortable, unless they have experienced something similar. Throw in a pregnancy loss at 5 months, I start to see men pulling at their collars and women avoiding eye contact. But now that we’ve been pregnant, the secret is out, and the support from friends and family has been amazing. It really takes a tragedy to realize what great family and friends we have. After spending more money that we thought possible on having a baby, I’ve come to realize that at least the love is free, and we’ll take it.