Where art thou, Mr. Stork?

I heard a cute saying the other day from someone trying to conceive with no such luck; “who shot my stork?” It might be the name of someone’s blog, I’m not quite sure. But ever since I heard it, I’ve been thinking where the heck is MY stork? So I thought I’d write him (it must be a him if he’s lost) a letter.

Dear Mr. Stork,

My husband and I have been trying to make a baby for 2 years (almost to the day) and I got to thinking…where the heck are you? I haven’t seen or heard from you, while most of my friends can’t seem to get rid of you! I’ve thought of some possibilities…

· Did you get in some sort of stork accident? Perhaps you collided with another stork on your way to visit me?

· Did you get lost? They make Garmin now, so there should be no excuses for getting lost. You can also ask for directions at most gas stations, please do so.

· Do you have a drinking problem that is preventing you from flying? Maybe you could lay off the sauce for 9 months and come pay me a visit. I enjoy a margarita probably more than the next person, but I don’t let it interfere with work. Perhaps you could try the same.

· Did I say something to offend you? I know I sometimes (as above indicated by my margarita drinking) let my mouth run off a bit (my husband can probably attest), but that should be no reason for you to boycott me. If I have said anything, I apologize. There…better?

· Are you in training for some sort of race, maybe a marathon or triathlon, that is making you too tired for a visit? Perhaps you can send a sub. Send someone!

· Are you stuck somewhere? Maybe you flew into a light pole, or wedged yourself into a hole you cannot get out of now.

· Did you get into a new career and they have not replaced you yet? I'm a Recruiter so I might be able to recommend a service to fill your shoes. Or perhaps you'd consider going back for a little while until you deliver my package?

· Is there a stork strike going on? Again, most of my friends have seen plenty of you, but I do have a group of friends that haven't heard either. Perhaps we can work out a negotiation sooner rather than later to rectify this situation?

So you see, Mr. Stork, I’d really like for you to come pay us a visit. You have a little over 9 months before I demand to speak to your manager.


Sincerely,
Joelle


P.S. I’ve attached some cartoons of other inept storks…perhaps you can learn from these as well.