My Feet Keep Me Running, My Wings Make Me Fly

I’m finally at the point to look at something and perhaps see some good in it. I’ve been using running as an outlet. A way to get out of the house, get some exercise and explore my ever changing neighborhood. In March, every time I went for a run, I would walk back to the house or car in tears after about 1 mile. Now I can go at least 5 and not shed a single tear. It’s progress, believe me.

This past Sunday I had signed up for a race in Chicago. It was on the lakefront, an 8K, or 4.9 miles and an all women’s run. I like signing up for races because they keep me on track…make me train during the weeks ahead to prepare. I was supposed to run with a girlfriend, but she drank for 12 hours the day before at the Cubs game and bailed on me last minute. I have no problems running by myself, so Sunday morning, I left a whining dog and headed over to the lake. Got my bib, my chip, and waited. About 5 minutes before the start, it started raining. Raining hard. All the runners hid under trees (I will never understand hiding under a tree during a rainstorm). I ran under covering at the lifeguard house. I got that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. The one you get before you race…the “I think I have to go to the bathroom” but then you get there, and you don’t have to go at all. I almost took my chip off, turned it in, got my free race shirt and left. I had visions of hopping back into my air conditioned house, and curling up in bed with my dog. But right when I had this thought, the race coordinators called us to the start. I walked to the start, still in the rain, heard the horn and we were off!

For the first 3 miles, I felt great. The rain let up, and we were running right on the lake and it was beautiful. It was one of those experiences you forget you’re running and just let your body take off. Mile 4 was a different story. I was trying to think of escape routes…jump in the lake? Run back to the car? No, no, just finish. At that point I took the little gold angel wing necklace I bought myself and held it tight in my hands. I prayed to my sweet Nicholas to help Mommy get to the finish. I prayed for his safety, for his love. I also thought, if he were healthy enough to make it, he would LOVE to go for a run on the beach…in the rain…on a beautiful summer day. So I ran for Nicholas. I always think of him when I’m running, perhaps that’s why I’m loving running so much lately. I feel him looking over me, giving me wings to fly to the finish line.